Today I have a bit of a ‘tude

feeling short-tempered and a little bit rude

I have a chip on my shoulder

okay, it’s more like a boulder

I’m in a menopausal state of mood.

I think my mirror is playing a hoax

I’m seeing nods from some of you folks

gravity has come

and stolen my bum

sadly my treadmill was in on the joke.

 You must be thinking I’m some kind of clown

see my sweat as it pools on the ground?

I’m all dressed for summer

need snow…..what a bummer

I really need powering down!

There’s a new battle commencing in bed

the front lines between hormones and head

I toss and I turn

I freeze and I burn

my mattress a warzone instead.


My passion for food needs to end

it’s been my comfort, my lover, my friend

but until that day comes

I’ll work on my bum

and pray chubby becomes the new trend!


  You men don’t understand weight

we ladies have saved you that fate

when hair falls from your head

and grows from your nostrils instead

we shrug and we tell you you’re great.

We all know you are visual boys

but this I find quick to annoy

your weighty comments bring tears

please pluck the hair from your ears

chug a Bud and go play with your toys.

So excuse me if I have a ’tude

but the temperature’s now ninety-two

just show that you care

and don’t mess with my air

I’m in a menopausal state of mood!

Categories: Humor, Physical Health | 12 Comments

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12 thoughts on “MENOPAUSE SONG

  1. Mary Wloch


  2. Thank you, Mary! And thanks so much for reading! I hope it made you smile! xo

  3. Elaine Rance

    This story, Had me in stitches of laughter, well done hun. XOXOXO

  4. Lynn Gardner

    Always loved this! Your illustrations are perfect!

    • Ha ha ha! Thanks, Lynn! The last time I recited this was at your house! I wondered what you would think of the pics! lol Thanks so much for reading and leaving a note! xoxo

  5. beverlypeterson

    Great story! ❤

  6. Desiree Mate

    Sooooooo truer xoxoxo

  7. Thanks, Des! Glad you enjoyed it! xoxo

  8. debbk78

    I loved this…..gave me my laugh for the day….and oh so true!!!!

    • So glad you liked it, Deb! Yeah, this is just another part of my world! TWELVE YEARS I’ve been singing this song! ha ha ha! Thanks for reading! xoxo

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