Today I have a bit of a ‘tude
I have a chip on my shoulder
okay, it’s more like a boulder
I’m in a menopausal state of mood.
I think my mirror is playing a hoax
I’m seeing nods from some of you folks
gravity has come
and stolen my bum
sadly my treadmill was in on the joke.
You must be thinking I’m some kind of clown
see my sweat as it pools on the ground?
I’m all dressed for summer
need snow…..what a bummer
I really need powering down!
There’s a new battle commencing in bed
the front lines between hormones and head
I toss and I turn
I freeze and I burn
my mattress a warzone instead.
it’s been my comfort, my lover, my friend
but until that day comes
I’ll work on my bum
and pray chubby becomes the new trend!
You men don’t understand weight
we ladies have saved you that fate
when hair falls from your head
and grows from your nostrils instead
we shrug and we tell you you’re great.
We all know you are visual boys
but this I find quick to annoy
your weighty comments bring tears
please pluck the hair from your ears
chug a Bud and go play with your toys.
So excuse me if I have a ’tude
but the temperature’s now ninety-two
just show that you care
and don’t mess with my air
I’m in a menopausal state of mood!