ISOLATION

I thought today might be the day

when I open the door and leave my cage

Last night I dreamt I took the step

then I woke up in a panic, knowing I’m not ready yet.

Don’t ask me why

cuz I don’t understand

I’ve always stood on solid ground

now I’m knee-deep in the sand.

I opened the window and was stunned by the cold

Summer had ended but I was never told

The leaves had fallen, as did my tears

Seems I missed out on my favorite time of year.

Where did I go?

Cuz I don’t understand

I’ve always known just who I was

now I’m not sure who I am.

But I’d make a bet

I’ll get there yet

I’ll . . . find . . . my . . . way.

Just . . . not . . . today.

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Categories: Bipolar/Depression, Poetry | 21 Comments

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21 thoughts on “ISOLATION

  1. Beautiful, Julia!

  2. This took incredible courage to write. Please know you are stronger and braver than you think.

  3. I have to swallow the lump in my throat to thank you, Kim. Thank you. xoxo Julia

  4. Lynn Marchant

    As a poet, you are one of a select few, who ever reduced me to tears, Julia.
    Through Stream Of Consciousness, you ‘tap in to’ and describe your personal vulnerability to COMPLETE PERFECTION. This vulnerability is something, which I also share with you every living day (for other reasons). However, that note of Hope in the last stanza, as you collect yourself and your resolve:

    ‘I’ll get there
    I’ll … find … my … way.’

    – spelt out as precisely AS IT IS and almost in the manner of an affirmation – indicates just HOW STRONG you really are! Even at your lowest ebb, you are already looking to ‘turn a corner’.

    You are SO MUCH in touch with your subconscious mind, that you SEE ALL: The Good, The Bad,The Ugly … which can episodically, be overwhelming and lead to emotional ‘overload’.
    This may be: ‘a Gift and a Curse’ as ‘they’ say! But it’s ALSO the reason for your unique Empathy and Sympathy toward others … and your remarkable ability to Communicate in writing.

    For those reasons, I feel absolutely inclined, to put you on a par with my favourite Welsh poet, Dylan Thomas (who also toured America). And now I beg you: keep THE POETRY coming!!!

    • Thank you so much, Lynn. You flatter me waaaay too much! But I love your heart and so very much appreciate your kind words. xoxo Julia

  5. Julia, You have a great, wonderful and rare gift. We feel your poetry, not just read and hear it.. Emotions put to words. You are like Emily Dickinson , timeless.

  6. Mary Wloch

    Beautiful!

  7. Lynn Gardner

    Beautiful and heartwrenching, I felt every word you wrote. xoxo Lynn

  8. Lynn Marchant.

    More poetry like this, provoking MORE emotion like this – is exactly what this apathetic World needs. There just AREN’T sufficient Poets with such a Gift, or with the capacity to make us FEEL emotion at all! An increasing number of psychiatrists, psychologist, etc. believe the renewed ability to feel, would improve Humanity as a whole. Your poetry is so therapeutic, I could imagine your work GREATLY assisting in the healing of our mental/emotional issues generally – and in poetry workshops for the mentally/emotionally-challenged.

    • I think you over-rate my work, Lynn. But I thank you so much for doing so! (lol). The thought that someone….anyone…..could relate, or feel better, or experience understanding, because of something I’d written, brings me great satisfaction and warms my heart. I thank you for your wonderful, loving words. xoxo Julia

  9. Simple but profound. Very deep rivers must have flowed through these words. Thank you…

    Pink.

  10. Goodness, my friend, this is brilliant–and I understand. I’ve been there–way too ofen. Hugs to you!
    Kathy

  11. Joanie Woody Foote

    Oh so beautiful, so raw & so true! Thanks for sharing a glimpse into your soul, we are all some how tortured & vulnerable. Much love & peace to you, Jules! Be brave & be well! xo, xo ❤

  12. Well done

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