I never bought a lunchbox MICHAELS WINGSwhiter

for your first day of school

or had a teacher conference

and saw artwork made by you.


You never graduated

or attended your first prom

you never got to marry

and you never called me mom.


We had just a whisper

and then you slipped away

I try my best to honor you

by living better every day.


If I can get to heaven

after paying my life dues

I will rush right into heaven

and find my way to you.


If I can get to heaven

I hope that God agrees

that I belong in heaven

with you right next to me.


* Although I am a writer and not a singer, I have made a recording of myself singing, “IF I CAN GET TO HEAVEN”, in honor of my son, Michael Steven Kovach, on his birthday, July 8th: http://youtu.be/J9HdClGW97E


The photograph in this video is by Fine Arts Photographer, Patricia Izzo, of Izzo Photography. Visit her on Facebook at:  https://www.facebook.com/gbatch1?composeropen=1#!/PatriciaIzzoPhotography?fref=ts, or visit her website at: WWW.IZZOPHOTOGRAPH.COM. Her work may be purchased at River’s Edge Gallery, in Wyandotte Michigan; visit owner, Patt Slack, and her crew at River’s Edge Gallery on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/gbatch1?composeropen=1#!/RiversEdgeGallery?fref=ts.


Categories: Family, God/Spiritual, Grief/Healing, Holidays/Birthdays, Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

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29 thoughts on “IF I CAN GET TO HEAVEN

  1. Pingback: IF I CAN GET TO HEAVEN | Journey with Julia

  2. This was beyond dear. He’s waiting for you, Julia. Promise.

  3. Oh Julia. I cannot even fathom your loss. My heart aches for you my friend. xoxo

    • Thank you, Kim. Oddly, I didn’t hear great sorrow when I sang these words, I think I was focused more on the content and the tribute to my son. I didn’t realize how terribly sad this was until I let someone hear the recording. Then we both cried. You have a wonderful heart, Kim. Please don’t let my heartache become yours. With every word I write or step forward I take, or humbling I embrace, I feel more liberated and settled. I know you understand. Thanks for being so caring and such a wonderful support. xoJulia

  4. Joanie

    So beautiful…..there will such joy for you both when this day comes. xoxo

  5. Oh, Julia, this made me teary. My heart goes out to you both.

  6. I just can’t find the right words…

  7. Beautiful Julia. We all need something to stop us fearing death, I know you will smile when that time comes.

    • Thank you so much, my friend. And you are right . . . when that time comes. Blessings and love to you always. xoJulia

  8. Lynn Gardner

    What a touching poem, I know this may have been the most difficult of all to write. Thinking of you today bless you, Julia XOXO

    • Thank you, Lynn. So much. It’s odd, but today doesn’t feel particularly painful….as one might think…..I think that on random days throughout my life there come bits of pain and aching….but then there are moments of acceptance and strength….and because of friends like you, there are even times of laughter and joy. Thank you for your understanding and support. xoJulia

  9. I doubt you’ll have to look far to find him.

  10. So beautifully written Julia! And yes, you will meet again!

  11. Hey! I’ve nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger award. 🙂

  12. Oh Julia, my eyes are full. When the time comes you won’t have to look, Michael will be there waiting.
    blessings ~ maxi

    • Oh, Maxi…..your tears to my heart. Thank you for your comforting words. Always…you with your comforting sweet words. Thank you, my friend. xoJulia

  13. Julia, i am so sorry. He is waiting for you and you are so strong to live every day as a gift to him by being who you are. Hugs to you.

    • Thank you so much, Ayala. It is so nice to meet you…..Hugs to you also, my new friend. Take good care of your precious self. xoJulia

  14. Ajaytao2010

    Nice reading about you

    Thanks for visiting my blog. Be in touch. Browse through the category sections, I feel you may find something of your interest.

  15. Your singing on that video is beautiful. You sound just like a mother singing her baby to sleep — no other singer can match the beauty that comes from that moment. I pictured him in your arms as you rocked him to sleep. Just beautiful, loving, precious.

  16. Thank you, Darla, really. That’s exactly what I was feeling at the moment….and exactly why I didn’t hesitate to post it, no matter my lacking singing ability. There was a time when no one knew about him, even within my own family (because of their shame), then came the time when I declared him aloud for the whole world to know, this year I sang to him in celebration of his life…..there is no pride at a moment like that. Besides living my life well, it may be my final gift to him. I hold your very kind and tender words close to my heart, thank you. Thank you. xoJulia

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