“Dear Julia . . . there is no easy way to tell you this . . .”
.
On July 3rd, I learn of my friend’s suicide
.
The savage truth delivers a violent punch to my heart
and fractures my core
.
For others, the days ahead bring fireworks, art fairs, and festivities . . . even The Rolling Stones
.
but I’m here still trying to get up off the floor
.
Reality comes in waves now; acid waves which leave me breathless
.
I can’t talk about it yet, or say his name aloud, or share his wonderfulness with you
but I know that soon the grieving will begin and it will be better than this
.
In a single moment everything can change
your perspective . . . your world . . . even the person you are
.
To the muffled backdrop of exploding fireworks, I weep
for his pain
and my loss
and the tremendous tragedy of it all
.
It didn’t have to be
.
This life . . .
is magnificent and beautiful
yet fragile, tentative, and temporary
and ever so bittersweet.
*If you are in crisis, PLEASE call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-HELP (8255). They’re available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They really care and can help you. Or visit http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org .
Because you matter.
