Posts Tagged With: humor

Baxter Turns TWO!

Today is Baxter’s 2nd birthday and he’s a very happy boy.

First, we went for a drive.

BAXTER SMILING IN CAR

Then he opened his Birthday cards.

BAX CARD BDAYhis

For his special activity he’s chosen a themed movie marathon on television . . .

BAX ON LAPtv

. . . obviously, Sci-Fi.

bax w foil hatbday

It’s hard to believe I’ve had him for only two years……feels like a hundred! haha.

Here is the blog I wrote after first bringing him home. He was 6 weeks old and weighed 1.5 pounds. http://wp.me/p2ckKM-5W.

Happy birthday, Bax! Momma loves you!

Categories: Animals, Holidays/Birthdays, Humor | Tags: , , , , , | 14 Comments

MOMMA TOLD ME THERE’D BE DAYS LIKE THIS

Today is one of those days that inspire a head-shake and an exasperated, “Really?

The morning begins with a shower where I shampoo my body and body-wash my hair.

SHAMPOO BODY WASH

And the afternoon brings ten fumbling, frustrating minutes of trying to make a sandwich only to discover that the Pita bread won’t open because it doesn’t open! Are you kidding me?

 PITA NO POCKET

And moments later, when I take the first bite of my real Pita pocket sandwich, the bottom splits open and everything spills out and goes plonk on the plate.

And finally, some news from my doctor.

Apparently, I am not the only one who gets annoyed with people, my body does too! And some of my organs are protesting. (Bastards).

My heart’s hammering, migraine’s pulsating, bladder’s faking infection and my gall bladder (where is that anyway?) is feigning stones; but, wait . . .

O.M.G., did I just wee-wee on my socks?”

FACE YIKES

Nope. That unnatural flush of warmth is hot flashes . . . IN MY FEET!

All of your test results are “unremarkable” the doctor says, “You’re fine, but you need to work on the stress.”

Really?

That’s just marvelous.

Resigned to staying home, I walk to the sofa, dumfounded and defeated, in my jammies and my over-sized athletic socks . . .

IN JAMMIES

. . . and step right into cat barf.

But it’s not even noon yet!” I whine.

Now, before this polka dotted, hot-flashing old gal can relax, I’ve got to take my funky-ass hair and itchy skin, and go air out my feet. And my socks. And clean up the leaky non-Pita pita mess. And the gaggy cat stuff I just smooshed into the carpet.

There’s no doubt, it’s one of those days alright. Haha.

What’s my calmative mantra again?

Oh yeah . . . “Just breathe”.

Categories: Humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

MY WILD BDAY PARTY

Something is brewing around here and I suspect that it is related to my upcoming birthday.

When I enter the room I catch my homies, Allie and Baxter, whispering.

WHISPERG

“What are you two up to?” I ask.

They suddenly sit up, go silent, and put on their best striving-to-look-innocent faces.

ALLIE BAX SIDEBYSIDE CROPPED

“Who . . . us? They answer.

Remembering last year’s birthday celebration and the chaos that ensued, I push.

“You wouldn’t be hiding anything, would you, Miss Allie?” I ask.

She says nothing, but gets defensive and shoots me that impatient, intense look of hers.

ALLIE BAX INTENSEcropped

But I know my homies. And several hours later my suspicions are confirmed and I am surprised with a birthday party.

FIREWORKS BDAYBALLOONS IN TREEME SURPRISE FACE

There is food and  drink.

CHEESE N CRACKERS DRINK ALLIE

I receive cards, and flowers, and lots of kisses.

BAX DELIVERS MAIL blogPLANTKISSES

Then Allie sings. And boy, she really gets into it.

SINGING

Then Baxter sings along with an Ecard. He’s a star! Click on the link below and watch him sing on YouTube!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfBzaJMyAw8

We play lots of party games.

GAMES BAX DOMSGAMES ALLIE DOMINOESGAMES ALLIE SCRABBGAMES ALLIE BAG

But quickly things get out of hand.

OUT OF CONTROLOUT OF CONTROL BLUR

What happens in Vegas . . . ? ha ha ha.

OUT OF CONTROL ALLIE LAMPOUT OF CONTROL ME

The next morning we are quiet and lazy.

LATER ALLIELATER BAXNEXT DAY ME

And for the most part, unscathed.

Well, kind of.

You know what they say:

“It’s all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone!”

ME CONE GLASSES SHRUGtheone

Categories: Animals, Holidays/Birthdays, Humor, Photography | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

ABOUT ME & MY JOURNEY

In this blog I bear my soul. I’ve suffered some rather traumatic family losses in my lifetime and have overcome some rough stuff: the loss of my only child; an infant son, a 40-year dysfunctional, (but comfortable), relationship with grief, suicide and drug addiction in the family, and everything from quitting a 35 yr smoking habit, to overcoming prescription drug addiction, to my challenges with bipolar disorder. smiling glasses allieGOOD

Now, at the age of 54, I’m facing a whole new world through clear eyes! Everything is fresh and exciting, and challenging and scary . . . and I’m embracing it all!

In this blog, I share (purge) my past experiences, however painful, raw, or revealing. And I share new adventures . . . both emotionally and physically out in the world. I take you into the world of bipolar disorder . . . or maybe to the local cancer center to meet cancer patients who heal through their art, or to an art gallery exhibition, to the local park to snap pics, or maybe downtown to our wonderful City of Detroit!

I’m on the cusp . . . of change.

I believe in celebrating the people and places around me. I will seldom vent, rant, or approach something in a negative way. If I don’t enjoy an art show, or a new business, or a new artist, I simply won’t blog about it. Anything else is just too easy. I look for the good, the funny, the kind, the loving, and the inspirational things; and they are EVERYWHERE! I hope to make you laugh, or cry, or maybe even think about things a bit differently.

So, please, join me on this beautiful, incredible, painful, and amazing journey called life. And please, share your thoughts with me by leaving a comment on my blog! Also, to “Follow” me on my journey, just enter your email address in the “Follow” box and you will be notified by email each time I post a new blog entry.

Thanks for visiting! Be safe. Be careful. And please . . . remember to be kind. xoxoJulia

*Blog content & photographs © 2013 by Julia Kovach, unless otherwise noted.

Categories: Addiction, Bipolar/Depression, Downriver/Detroit, Michigan, Humor, Inspiration/Motivation, Kindness & Compassion, Mental Health, Suicide | Tags: , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

A HALLOWEEN DREAM

(I don’t care much for Halloween. But in the spirit of going with the flow and learning to laugh at life, I decided to try to make the best of it this year. All of the pics in this blog were taken while out driving yesterday with Patti Petroline; dear friend, great adventurer, and carver of pumpkins).

*************************************************************************************************************

We’ll have a full moon the TV said 

but I stayed home cuz I was dead

I watched a movie called Pumpkin Head

and then I ate and went to bed.

*

My B.L.T. caused crazy dreams

and transported me it seems

to scary skies with sugar beams

I’m just not sure what it all means.


*

I saw a tree


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a goat


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a sign


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Was this all caused by how I dined?
*

And then a barn


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my dog


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a friend of mine?


*

Whew! It all ended just in time.
*

Thankfully, I did awake . . . or did I make a bad mistake?

My body hurts and my head sure aches. Oh, my gosh . . . for goodness sakes!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, GOBLINS! Xoxo

Categories: Adventures, Humor, Photography, Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

COIN TOSS

The first time he telephoned, we talked for over an hour. He made me feel light and funny and girly. And I liked it. Normally I don’t slow dance; I’m terrible at it. I get tense and become as stiff as a board. But that night on the phone, I danced. He led, but I didn’t need to follow. Because he carried me; my feet never touched the floor.

“I almost didn’t call you” he said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Oh, it just gets to be a little too much, you know? All these first dates; I wasn’t sure if I should bother.” He said.

“Really?” I asked, miffed that he wasn’t more excited, “What made you decide to call then?”

“I flipped a coin.” He said.

“WHAT?” I shrieked. “You flipped a coin?! Are you serious? Ha ha ha!”

“Yep. I flipped a coin.” He said.

“Well, what won?”

“Heads. So I called you.” He said.

The next night we met for dinner and had a wonderful evening. Our conversation was constant, natural, and excited; and our laughter seemed to last for days. I’ll bet the sparks of our attraction could be seen from afar, like the flicker of fireflies on a hot summer’s night.

After several hours, he reluctantly paid the bill and walked me to my car.

“Can I kiss you goodnight?” He asked as he gently brushed the hair from my face.

I reached into my purse and pulled out a quarter.

“I don’t know. Call it: Heads or tails?”

Categories: Humor, Romance/Dating | Tags: , , , , , | 37 Comments

DRESS SHOPPING – UGH!

I hate shopping. It requires two things guaranteed to make me crabby: trying on clothes and looking in a full-length mirror. Both are pure torture. Ugh!

 No longer able to deny the addition of my 25 lb muffin top or my upcoming 35th high school class reunion, I walk into the fashion outlet feeling fat and disproportionate, and packing, amongst other things, a very large attitude.

I seek camouflage in the form of a light, casual summer dress, and bring an armful of options into the ridiculously small, stuffy fitting room.

I disrobe and look in the mirror. And . . . gasp.

“Just breathe.” I whimper to the skinny girl within, as I stick my tongue out at the sweating, menopausal woman reflecting back at me.

“I swear something’s wrong with this mirror” I groan and hear a snicker from somewhere off in the distance.

I put the first dress on backwards. I struggle to pull it off my clammy self and in the midst of the struggle I get a muscle cramp . . . in – my – RIBCAGE! I have to bend over and just stand that way for a minute until it passes. Really? Are you kidding me?

The piped-in music starts playing some loud and unkind blend of rock and rap and it feels like someone’s poking me in the eardrums with a stick. Good grief, I’m getting old.

I try on several more dresses to no avail and the incredibly small airless room begins to close in.

“Just breathe.” I chant.

I put on one dress that is so ill-fitting that it gets stuck somewhere between mid-muffin top and my monstrous mug and requires a concentrated effort to get off without damaging the dress or dislocating an arm.

An hour later, I emerge from the fitting room wringing wet and exhausted.

I nod at the attendant who looks at me questionably as she counts my damp, wrinkled rejected dresses and takes the plastic, blue, number-of-items ticket from my sweaty hand.

Although I am emotionally, physically, and financially spent, I leave the store triumphant, because I have somehow discovered the proverbial needle in a haystack; a cute new dress that will serve my needs well. It’s colorful and casual camouflage!

 Yay me!

Shoes and accessories?

That’s for another day! It should be shopping that’s easier on my ego though. I don’t know . . . do feet gain weight?

Sheesh, do I need bigger shoes?!

Categories: Holidays/Birthdays, Humor, Physical Health | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

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